Ok, so I just went to the bathroom (I know, you don’t care, TMI, etc., but trust me it’s relevant to the story) and I looked in the mirror (Aha! I told you the bathroom thing was relevant) and saw a big smudge of black stuff on my teal shirt about 4 1/2 inches below my right armpit. I didn’t do any highly advanced analysis of said “black stuff,” but I’m pretty sure it was mascara. That’s the only ebony substance I’ve encountered thus far today… although since I don’t tar my driveway very often, I suppose black gooey substances don’t really play much of a role in my life at all …

So now, and by all means, send me a note if you know… How in the hell did I manage to get mascara under my armpit?!

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