You know, a sobriquet … a pseudonym … a nom de guerre … a glorious and awe-inspiring epithet. I just decided I need one.
Really, anyone who’s anyone has a designation other than that given them by their mom and dad.
I mean, who would have read about Plain-Belly Sneeches (or Star-Belly Sneeches, for that matter) if Theodore Geisel had signed his name at the bottom of the book. But Dr. Seuss … That’s an author who razzle-dazzles the little listeners and puts a dance in the eyes
of the parents who smile
at the children they have on their laps.
Or how about Cherilyn Sarkisian? What a dreadful, mouth-filling jumble of “sh”s. She went to the opposite end of the spectrum and simplified her seven syllables down to a much more mouth-friendly, single-syllabled, Cher.
And my dad … I even got bored of calling him his fatherly title. Fred. That’s what I settled on. So what if it sprung from the name we always jokingly gave to the boxelder bugs who had strayed into our house: “Court, will you get Fred out of here?!” It’s a term of endearment now … in an odd way, perhaps, but a benevolent byname certainly.
I suppose I’ve had some notable nicknames throughout my life. My volleyball team members called me “Red” for while, after I forgot how susceptible my acne medicine made me to UV rays. I went by “Colorada” when my dad (Fred) suggested Anne Marie and I both adopt new names for our vacation to a dude ranch in that mountainous state.
But now … I mean, it’s difficult to shorten “Courtney.” Sure, there’s “Court,” and I suppose that’s what those closest to me have landed upon, or perhaps those too lazy to languish over the “ney.” I guess I could go by “Holden,” but then, I’m not the point guard on the high school boys’ basketball team. I think I grew out of that one once I grew a pair of boobs.
Though, this is the hard part … you know. The whole coming-up-with-a-sweet-nickname thing … something catchy and fun … original, innovative, memorable. Something that my friends will like, that my family will approve of, and whose origin my future-husband won’t question.